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When You’re In the Hot Seat

In my last blog, I gave tips on how to initiate tough conversations with others—whether they be friends, significant others, coworkers or people you manage. But what about when the shoe’s on the other foot? As the saying goes, it’s often far easier to dish it out than it is to take it.

So, how should you respond when you are on the receiving end of a tough conversation? Here’s what I recommend:

• Watch your body language. You may not like what you’re hearing, but try to stay calm and show you’re listening. This means maintaining eye contact and [...]

Tough Conversations Made Easy

We’ve all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, client, friend or significant other about some type of sticky situation. We assume the encounter will be uncomfortable, so we often put it off in hopes the problem will: (a) go away or (b) somehow take care of itself. Or, we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer delay the inevitable and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Maybe we feel we deserve a raise or promotion at work but can’t bring ourselves to ask for it. Maybe we have to reprimand an employee we’re fond [...]

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    Gender Differences in the Bedroom: The REAL Story of the Tortoise and the Hare

Gender Differences in the Bedroom: The REAL Story of the Tortoise and the Hare

With Easter just around the corner, I thought it might be fun to tell the real story of the tortoise and the hare…at least in terms of how this analogy applies to relationships. Aside from the crazy monkey sex that typically involves a reunion or follows an involuntary dry spell, that let’s-rip-off-each-other’s-clothes, must-have you-right-now romp in the hay is all too rare in most long-term relationships.

Scientists say there’s a good reason for that. Basically, when it comes to making love, women tend to be like turtles, while men are more like rabbits. Indeed, research reveals that it takes a [...]

The Green You Shouldn’t Wear Today…or Any Day!

St. Patrick’s Day is upon us, and I hope the “Luck of the Irish” is with you as we round out the first quarter of 2014.  Thousands of gallons of green beer will be consumed this week, and millions will don green garments to celebrate the occasion.  But as a Certified Communication and Relationship Coach, I wanted to grab this opportunity to discuss the “dark” side of “going green.”

I’m talking about jealousy here—an emotion that sends a whopping one-third of couples to counseling—and a major hot button for both men and women. It’s a no-brainer that jealousy breeds insecurity, [...]

Are you “Talking the Talk?”

Quick question: When it comes to day-to-day conversations with others—whether it be at work or at home—would you consider yourself to be a positive communicator?

Most people immediately answer “yes” to this question, and yet, research disagrees.

Studies show that our typical vocabulary has more negative words than positive words and that we seem to spend more time telling people what they can’t do versus what they can do. In fact, children between the ages of six months to three years hear “no” in relation to “yes” in an 80/20 ratio!

Using positive communication offers a slew of benefits:

Your mood will improve

Heads Up, All You Lovers Out There!

In case you’re not paying close enough attention to the calendar, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. I get it, the holidays and New Year’s seemed like they were just yesterday, but have you started thinking about what you’re going to do for that “special person” in your life? Don’t tell me that you’re going to wait until the last minute, and then throw together a last-second plan that looks like you took about 45 seconds to throw it all together.

Guys, remember what I’ve told you in the past: It’s not always about how [...]

You Gotta Disconnect To Connect

Randi Zuckerberg has a new book out—actually, two new books on the same topic: unplugging from the high-tech world we live in. The first, Dot Complicated: Untangling Our Wired Lives, is for adults; the second, Dot, is geared to children.

It’s ironic that these books would come from Zuckerberg, who is a former marketing executive for Facebook and whose brother, Mark, was a cofounder of this madly popular social media site. But I salute Zuckerberg…and echo her sentiments.

In my new book, Revolutionize Your Relationships: Communication Secrets on How to Succeed at Work and at Home, I discuss the many ways [...]

You Don’t Have to be a Real Housewife (or Live in Beverly Hills) to Spice Up Your Relationship

Last week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Carlton Gebbia and her husband visited the Hustler store for some sexy lingerie and bedroom gear for the “playroom” she’s creating in her gothic mansion.  “I want a room in the house where I can lock the door and have completely no inhibitions,’ she revealed.”

Paging Christian Grey!

“I like to play. I like to experiment. I like adult toys,” she admitted on the show. “David does not know yet what he’s in for. He’s a lucky man!”

I agree. Some female fans of this show may have cringed at Carlton’s openness, but [...]

Make This New Year’s Resolution Stick

We’re on the brink of a new year, and for a number of us that means it’s time to mentally wipe the board of life clear and enter 2014 with a fresh and optimistic attitude. A new year not only offers us the chance to pat ourselves on the back for all the good things going on in our lives, it allows us to make resolutions about what we want to change. Losing weight, making more money, having more free time, paying off bills or taking a really cool vacation are often a few areas we focus on. Truth [...]

When You Can’t Be With The One(s) You Love at Christmas

‘Tis the season for joy, cheer, family fun and goodwill toward others. But what if you’re separated or divorced and live too far away from your children to spend Christmas with them? It’s impossible not to feel a bit jealous, lonely, sad, angry and even resentful. And it’s hard not to imagine your ex and the kids having the perfect family holiday without you. Ouch!

Here are a few helpful tips to help you cope…and feel closer to your kids…at Christmas when you can’t be with the one(s) you love most:

Create traditions from afar. Just because you can’t be there [...]